Thailand 

Didn't even realise what i was off to do. I suppose it's just starting to sink in now; I'm in an entirely different place. The flight was relatively uneventful. I always feel before boarding when I'm checking myself in that a colossal error has been made like I've got the completely wrong day and my flight actually departed yesterday at 12, or it departed today at 9, or something horrible.

I do have some reason to think this way. On my way home from South America i missed my connecting flight. Why? I thought 15:00 was 5pm. During that time i went on a bus ride around Miami and acted like a real Steve Irwin telling people with authority that no, that fish in the water was not actually a crocodile but a normal fish. Is it bad that i play up the Australian accent and abuse the stereotype that we're wild jungle men?

Anyway, chilling at the moment in the backpackers sinking a Singha. The hostel people are playing obnoxious “western club music”. Think apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur T-pain styles. So far I've been wandering round the city like a lost child looking for someone to play with. I kept feeling like i was in dragon ball Z. The architecture reminds me of the old dbz cartoon days. Have not seen goku yet though might check the local Muay Thai Gym.

What i have seen a lot of is meat head roid ragers. Everywhere. I wonder if their endeavour for oversized biceps is to reach a complete feeling of self trust and confidence. What if the more you try to build your confidence in that manner you end up completely missing the point and further away from a true feeling of self belief and rather develop an absurd view that goes something like this: Skinny – you're a pussy. Huge – you're a man.

Thing is, i've seen 50kg nerds with more calm and self belief than half of the roid ragers I've encountered. Aggression does not equal manliness. To me it screams self doubt.

Saying all that people who know me know that i go to the gym and have even bought myself a power rack that takes up half of my room. Maybe the above is one big freudian slip or i'm jealous that they're twice the size of me. bastards.